Author: Katya

Pulled into our marina last night (Saturday), just moments before dark.

We were lucky once again with getting quickly through all the locks and bridges. One bridge operator was kind of “interesting” in his response, instructing us to adjust our height by taking down the antennas that make VK something like 35 feet tall. The whole point of these movable structures is to MOVE them when necessary. Maybe he was having a bad day…

Our captains are staying in town for a few more days to do some important repairs after taking a couple of days for much needed rest and a trip to the land of the food on the stick!

I will be collecting hundreds of photos and videos from multiple devices used on this trip to share here some time soon. And once we get our bearings, we want visitors! (We’re actually thinking of hosting an open house next weekend – details to come!)

We went through a lock with another boat close to our size, Big Dog, and then stayed in their wake for the rest of the afternoon, which apparently reduces the energy needed to travel, because they’re splitting the seas for us, so to speak. (Is that really a thing?) We met them over the radio while underway and at the end of the day decided to take them up on their invitation to stay in the Clinton Marina, where they have a slip (a designated space for your boat).

Let me tell you, the decision making part is always an elaborate process – consulting paper and electronic charts, calling places, trying to calculate how long any small leg of the route will take, including the wait times for locks and bridges, contemplating the weather for the possibility of just throwing an anchor in some bay. And also trying to beat the clock, which is the total opposite of “throw the schedule out the window” that I previously mentioned. Enough to drive you meshuggeneh! (That is not a nautical term.)

Two minutes before they turned off, the boss (me!) commanded – follow them in, we’re staying here tonight! It was really windy and docking the boat was difficult, fighting the wind and the current. We arrived 15 minutes after the official hours of operation, but Big Dog set everything up for us and even let us use their personal facility keys and access codes. (This was all Capt. Max doing and I’m gonna have to step out of my comfort zone to learn how to banter and socialize with other water people – boaters, barge captains, lock and harbor masters. Ugh)

Clinton Marina was nice and included a fancy restaurant we were tempted to dine in, as well as a big beached vessel that was turned into a theater after some flood a few dozen years ago.

Next morning (Wednesday) we left early, shivering. For the first time since the beginning of the trip, the AC was turned from cold to warm  inside the cabin. Meh, I prefer sweltering heat and cannot wait to have that in my life year around.

We contemplated staying at a place called Pirate’s Pit Stop, outfitted (according to the book) with everything including nautical and pirate memorabilia, but when we drove by it, we saw that VK was larger than the floating dock and shop. One generally needs something a bit more sturdy when in a 47 foot 50,000-pound tank.

We made it to the town of Guttenberg, IA, and stayed at a municipal marina. At 6:30 am the next morning we were ready to take off bright and early and contacted the lock that was less than a mile north of us. The answer – divers are currently in the lock trying to fix something, which could take until noon! Walk through town, early breakfast, a stop to get Capt. Max some warm clothes (Floridian that he is, he didn’t expect it to be chilly in the summer), and then we got a call from the lock that all was in order by 10am and we could shove off.

Another day of travel (Thursday) brought us into Lawrence Lake Marina, who we were trying to reach all day long without success. Wish we had – it was a quaint little place with tiny house boats and people fishing, not really set up for VK. Our host was apologetic and accommodated us the best he could at no charge.

We traveled all day Friday, frantically trying reach Mississippi Parkside Marina, where we were picking up Captain Tuna, Big Daddy and Sara, who answers to all kinds of inappropriate nicknames that I won’t list here. They were delivered to Wabasha, MN, by Sue and Ron Tracey, Tana’s parents. Thanks for putting up with that bunch, Mom and Dad! Surprisingly, this crew was pretty subdued compared to their usual level of debauchery, that some of you are familiar with.

Half an hour before we got there, another troubleshooting session occurred, figuring out what was causing an unpleasant smell for the last couple of days. A few tense moments later, the problem was identified – a water hose broke, possibly in a few places, spraying a super hot exhaust pipe (creating the smell) and also filling the bilge (bottom of the boat under the floor, that collects all kinds of drips from where it is sucked out with bilge pumps) with water from the water tank (our house water, 250 gallon container that lives under the master queen bed). A temporary fix has been applied.

It is now Saturday morning. This crew is definitely awake now and BD even drove the boat for a hot minute (she almost fainted with all the responsibility!).

We might make it home tonight!

P. S. Totally forgot to mention the delicious corned beef, cabbage & potatoes dinner last night and the yummy “goulash” breakfast tacos this morning by the captain duo. In a day or so we will have to start cooking for ourselves again. Sigh…

This was a cool passage – a railroad swing bridge, one section of which is rotated perpendicular to the rest of the track to let big boats thru (we’re on a big boat, people, and oftentimes have the right of way!)

We decided that a proper installation of the searchlight (THE MEGA CANDLE) was important and not necessarily that much more time consuming than attaching it somewhere temporarily with bungee cords. Either way it had to be wired in order to operate. While that was being worked on, Asha and I went into town of Louisiana, MO, using a local Karl’s(!) Cab service, that has only one driver whose name clearly is not Karl (she’s a gal and I doubt Louisiana, MO is progressive enough for that yet). We needed some groceries, most important of all COFFEE, and the County Market store did not disappoint.

We stayed the night (Friday) at the Two Rivers Marina to give everyone a chance to rest. While we weren’t invited to partake, the female owner of the marina (girl power!) had a ladies night with friends, that included a tie dying activity and a bonfire. Our night was very pleasant as well, with a dip in a pool and Capt. Chris’ amazing ahí tuna tacos. As we were settling in for the night, we got visitors – a couple of very cute and not very shy raccoons came up our gangplank (a ladder for getting on and off when at a dock) and proceeded to help themselves to a dinner out of a bag with garbage on the aft deck (back deck). They really didn’t want to leave!

Capt. Max gave me a demonstration of the light in action as the night fell on the marina. I hope we didn’t disturb anyone with that mega beam.

On Saturday we went under a lift bridge instead. Just like with any passes that require human involvement, you have to contact the person running the facility and ask to come thru.

Sometimes you have to wait, most often at locks. And at couple of the locks I did the anchor drop, which allows us to stay in place and turn off the engines to let them rest a bit. It’s actually fun to start doing things on my own, things that I never imagined I would be doing until Tana’s boating dreams became mine. And now we’re actively pursuing them – yay!

Saturday night we got to try out the new light and it was really helpful in getting us safely to our night spot. Still, traveling in the dark is nerve racking and very stressful. There are already so many things to pay attention to on the river – they call it “eyes wide open boating” – imagine when you can’t actually see very well! We spoke to the person running the marina, Michael (gay power!), ahead of time to get the details about the place, but didn’t follow up later in the evening. He told us later that he got worried about us running behind schedule and at night fall, but when he saw us slowly puttering up to the dock in the dark, he sent half the bar patrons out to help bring us in and tie us down. It was a fun welcoming committee, cheering us in, as Tana very skillfully brought VK to the dock. This was the first marina that also had a restaurant and bar, that was actually open with people partying. Friday night, I suppose. We got a little taste of what normally occurs, like an outdoor concert we heard happening on a brightly lit stage right next to a lock where we had to hang out for a while, or drinks with friends at a bar. We couldn’t party for long, this daily boating excitement is very exhausting!

After making a few dozen miles on Sunday morning, we had to let Captain Tana and Deck Hand Asha get off the boat (sad face), to go back to what’s for now the reality, while your blog writer is staying on for another week to supervise (read: pay the bills) and to continue working remotely. Big thank you to my work team for letting me try this, being supportive of the adventure and stepping in when cell service was hiding in some woods or caves along the route!

Our friends Ann and Mindy in the Quad Cities area picked up Tana and Asha at a city dock in Burlington, Iowa, from where the drive home is only about 6 hours. The difference in travel speeds really messes with my head.

After the drop off we made it thru 3 locks, during which time I got to play with the controls and managed to keep the boat idling in the middle of a lock (without being tied to the side of it), while the lock filled with water. I started the same process on the last lock of the day, but the turbulence turned out to be too great for me to handle, it was even difficult for the captain to keep her steady and in the center of the lock, as per the grouchy lock master’s strict instructions.

We ended Sunday night with a bit of motoring in the dark, just to make it to the next marina, and I docked VK almost by myself! They also have a restaurant, unfortunately closed by the time we pulled in, that prides itself on grilled pork tenderloin (9,000 sold this season) and corned beef pastrami and Swiss sandwiches (1,000 sold this season). The owner was very kind getting up on the rainy morning of his day off to fill us with fuel, after which we took off into the gusting wind and sprinkling that quickly turned into sheets through which you couldn’t see more than a few feet ahead. And giant barges all over the place.

We previously noticed some water leaking from a pump that pulls river water to cool one of the engines while it runs. On Monday morning the trickle turned into spray that turned into flood. We were looking for the replacement pump and at the same time for a good marina to pull into. For example, calling one attached to a casino might have sounded like a good idea, but the person that answered the phone seemed to not speak the same “marine” language, knowing nothing about what were the conditions (whether VK would fit) or amenities (showers, laundry, shops), what “harbor master” is, or that maybe we should come into the lobby of the casino to check in (umm we’re on a boat floating just off the channel?).

We pulled into Lindsay Yacht Club instead, a proper spot, where even some tools were made available to us. Ann and Mindy came to the rescue a second time, graciously driving me to the Caterpillar place (engines not butterflies) for the pump, helping me get a few supplies and spending a little time over dinner in one of the local spots. This morning (Tuesday), in a third rescue effort by A&M, we went back to Caterpillar because a wrong pump was ordered yesterday. Oops! Installation is now in progress and we hope to shove off soon. (“Shove off” is a real term: “push away from the shore or another vessel in a boat.”)

They weren’t kidding when they named her the Mighty Mississippi. Or the Muddy one for that matter.

We got to have some turbulence and jump a wave or two. No one tossed their cookies yet, because it’s small potatoes according to Capt. Max.

I have to digress here into the American English idiom territory, because you may have noticed a Google Translator option on this blog. It’s there intentionally for all the foreigners (mainly my parents) following our adventures and they are having lots of fun reading about cookies and potatoes, I mean about boating! I sampled some of this text in Russian and it’s as if a slightly delirious overly zealous robot was trying their best to convey the true feeling of this trip experience.

Anyway….

We had a couple of long days, trying to maximize the daylight hours for travel, while at the same time being as conservative as possible on our fuel consumption, because going against a stronger current makes VK a very thirsty girl. Inevitably one night we ended up tying to a “live” barge minutes before night fell while raining and got lucky that the barge owners were feeling gracious that day. At our next stop while on the hunt for some engine oil, we stopped at a local fueling dock but decided against more fuel, because the next pump down the route was cheaper.

Guess what, yep – we ran out of fuel. In what seemed like the worst possible spot at first, though actually ended up being the best. We were in a man-made channel that veers away from the main river between two locks. As soon as that happened, we dropped anchor in the center of the channel, requested the lock master to hold traffic and let the boat drift around the anchor while working on getting the engines re-started with some extra fuel we had in spare cans plus a few more gallons hand delivered to us by very helpful barge handlers. They couldn’t actually pass by us floating in the middle of the channel, so might as well help those in distress. Overall, it’s been our experience that people want to help and generally offer guidance and share their experience.

Coming up to St. Louis looked cool and very metropolitan compared to the rest of our route so far. We left the wheel unattended for a moment to take a whole crew pic on the bow (my face looks pained – BRIGHT LIGHT! – but at that moment all was still well).

Day 12 Video Montage

When the generator and engines were finally started (they had to be bled – an official term – to get the air out of the machinery), we pulled up the anchor as dark clouds overtook us, dumping rain that would accompany us through the second lock and to the closest fuel dock at Alton Marina. When the tanks are empty, it takes a long time to fill them up! I probably sat monitoring one of the handles for close to an hour. Needless to say, when that was finished, there wasn’t much daylight left to go anywhere, so we stayed at Alton, under a really cool bridge, with nice amenities (pool, hot tub, laundry) and a very pleasant and helpful night attendant. We also met an older couple from Minneapolis on their own boating adventures, who chatted with us for a while and also sent us some information about our route.

All of next morning was spent on much needed maintenance with oil and filters, which ended up greatly improving how our engines are running. Hooray! We progressed a little further north and anchored for the night just off the channel, watching big barges floating by and local small boaters speeding around us.

Today we’re stopping at Two Rivers Marina where that MEGA CANDLE is waiting for us. Our goal is to reach the Quad Cities by Sunday mid-morning, which is a little over 200 river miles away!

On Saturday we picked up a new crew member, Asha the deck hand. She was so excited to join us, that she was willing to change plans and planes several times to make it work. She also ran around Nashville looking for my J&J mint waxed floss! Not really, we had other slightly more important items on our list, that she was able to provision. And on Sunday she championed the effort to convince the Kentucky lock master to get us thru the lock in 2 hours instead of 4. Way to go, Asha!

We’d also like to say that Capt. Max’s mom Connie is awesome! Not only did she meet us at two different docks on our first day, bringing us extra groceries, coolers and scuba gear, she is tracking our progress, like a forever concerned parent, and is also trying to figure out how to get VK properly illuminated, when her crew miscalculates and ends up running in the dark again. She ordered for us a light that will mount on the brow of the boat (that’s an official term, folks) with a strength of bazillion candles (that’s actually how the power of the light is measured, though bazillion might not be a real number). Shipment of this MEGA CANDLE went wonky, so it has to be tracked and re-routed to a future destination. Thanks, Mom!

Speaking of running in the dark, your blog writer has developed a couple of minor obsessions: (1) planning our stopping points 2-3 hours ahead, and (2) the depth finder readings. They’re both extremely important and I am not going to let up on annoying everyone on board until someone listens!

In order to pick Asha up at Cuba (not the Latin kind) Landing Marina in a timely manner, we had to get some miles in and we planned to take off at first light. That didn’t happen, because – fog. “When boating, toss the schedule out the window!” I’ve read this mantra in so many posts, blogs and articles, and now I wholeheartedly believe it.

To prevent take off delays on Sunday morning, and since it was my turn to play with greasy parts in the the engine room oven, I chose to learn about oil checks close to midnight on Sat, after a delicious jambalaya, couple glasses of sauvignon blanc, our fist spin around the bay on a dinghy (that’s the little boat you carry around on your big boat) and an evening splash in the bay (with a vest on, of course). There are four dipsticks to check in the engines, plus one in a generator that I didn’t get to do because we run the generator at night and it was too hot. I also had to stick my hand in a couple of strainer baskets (not sure of the proper term), where stuff might collect from the river water that cools the engines. This sure is a dirty job!!

It’s Monday and we’re now on our way to Cairo, not the Egypt kind.

On Wednesday (8/05) we were riding on the happy excited wave of smooth and efficient motoring and got a little too ambitious with our progress – we ended up locking thru as the sun was setting and by the time we were done it was dark. Again. Ugh. It took a while to find a spot to hunker down for the night, tying to a giant grain barge, hoping for ominous weather we saw on the radar to pass by as far away from us as possible.

Pasta bolognese, some Malbec and I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry on TV (because Capt. Max got all excited about Tana and I being married, for realz).

Thursday was a great travel day, during which we made 130 miles (at 11.5 miles per hour) and locked thru 6(!) locks. Your blog writer actually did a couple of boat tasks, including waxing our windshield in case we were going to get rained on (this helps the water bead and run down quicker to improve visibility in bad weather), and tie the boat in the locks (this is required so that we don’t lose control, while the lock fills with rushing water that raises or lowers us to the next level).

Y’all, I’m actually also working remotely for my paying job and this trip makes a cool setting for what’s normally a four-walled office. I lift my head up from the screen to catch trees and clouds floating by!

We stayed at the Grand Harbor marina, another swanky-ish place stocked with a courtesy car, pool & hot-tub, and a supermarket nearby. (I desperately need some dark chocolate and J&J waxed mint floss!) Oh and a security guard, an ex Vietnam vet, who is simultaneously a man of a God that’s all loving, a supporter of homosexuals and lesbians that just want to be able to be themselves (even though they get an unfair treatment – all his words), and was heard saying things like “these are my boats and hoes” and wanted to get a hug and another and another and another. (This is a run-on sentence that my brain just couldn’t fix.)

Friday morning we allowed ourselves to sleep in, leisurely filling up on fuel and water, getting a few groceries, giving VK a little bath (I was still in bed when all that was going on, maybe I should say “they” rather than “we”?). Shortly after taking off we arrived at a larger body of water where Ten-Tom waterway merges with Tennessee river, and a giant lock that had several BIG boats coming thru in both directions, which meant that we had to wait in line for 3-some hours. Apparently, this is what you do, while you wait…

Day 7 Montage

And now, a few miles north of the lock, we are anchored by Wolf Island, where I am watching from the captain’s chair on the flybridge a couple of locals circling the area for hours, catching some dinner, big barges floating by, and smelling something delicious being grilled by Chef Chris. Where is my glass of wine?

Ladies and gentlefolks, it is my pleasure to formally introduce to you the following, in the order of rank I suppose.

Captain Max

Soon-To-Be Captain Chris

Captain Tuna (wait, Tana currently outranks Chris?)

Angie (She don’t need a title, the boating experience and all that energy makes up for any certification)

The Blog Writer, aka Skipper in Training, Currently Nowhere Near Any Boat Operating Equipment (this is gonna take a while!)

We arrived at the Redneck Riviera Saturday night in the dark and promptly proceeded to wake everyone else in the area with in-your-face spotlights. No one complained, maybe it is not a big deal. Anchor dropped, we had a delicious meal prepared by Capt. Chris, accompanied by Waterworld on Netflix. Remember that flop? Apparently, as a boater one is supposed to like all water-related entertainment (I don’t even want to call it a “film”). It was entertaining?…

The after-dinner hillbilly dance party on the flybridge was much more so! (Flybridge: an open deck on a cabin cruiser located above the bridge on the cabin roof and usually having a duplicate set of navigating equipment.)

We spent all of Sunday traveling into the night in order to make good time. This inadvertently put us at a lock in total darkness, which is not what you want to do on the river, sheesh! It was a little scary and we had to wait for over an hour idling in front of the lock, while a big barge came through from the other side. For those not familiar with locks… In order to make rivers deep enough in all their parts for boat traffic, while they flow from elevated parts of land to the ocean, they have to be leveled off at certain points, which is accomplished by building two sets of gates that allow the boats to “step” up or down where elevation changes drastically or there is an actual waterfall. If this explanation doesn’t make sense, there’s always Google. I could only get this one piece of video exiting our second lock. Also, we have to do this 36 more times!

Exiting the lock video

We spent Sunday night at  Bobby’s Fish Camp, ummm yeah. It was interesting, especially in the morning when we could see the place. No one chose to use their facilities for shower or laundry – that should give you an idea. But we at least got fuel and water.

The following night we came to a marina that is the extreme opposite, and it includes a salt water pool that everyone is raving about. For dinner, Capts. Max and Chris made surf and turf – steak and seared ahi tuna. Did I mention that they make all the meals, in addition to all the boat operating and mechanical tasks? It feels a little like Below Deck (reality TV show), but in our case the blue collar version.

This morning we were getting ready to take off first thing, but encountered some mechanical issues, which required for the boat to be taken out of the water. It’s a production and looks very impressive for a massive vessel like VK.

All better now and a nice sunset at the Demopolis Yacht Basin marina. We said goodbye to Angie – she had to go back to her normal life of building things on land. Tomorrow we hope to make good progress on our northward journey!

We woke up yesterday after our first night on this vessel, which I (Katya) decided just now I will be calling a motor-yacht. It describes plainly the type of vessel she is, without fully entering into the snobbish territory associated with just “yacht”. (One of Urban Dictionary’s definitions: “A furnished yet elegant ship/vessel, used for private parties or pleasure.” A bit too hoity toity, right?)

After a hearty and nutritional breakfast of fast food and fast coffee, while making endless lists, we commenced running all around Gulf Breeze and Pensacola yesterday on provisioning errands, buying all manner of things from extra lines (ropes) to toilet paper. It was exhausting, sometimes to the point of tears. Partially because our sleep was way too short, partially because we were shopping at one of the places we typically avoid for political reasons, therefore it will not be named (but kind of sounds like another antagonist, that shall not be named). Never again!

At 10 this morning we left a friend’s dock where VK stayed while getting fixed up for the journey, stopped at a marina for fuel, water, loads of ice and a visiting crew member, who flew in from the west coast to join us for a few days.

We’ve now been under way for most of the day, using the Inter Coastal Way (ICW) to get from Pensacola to Mobile, AL, going through the Mobile Bay and Mobile/Tensaw River Delta to Gravine Island, where we will anchor for the night. This means that we will be in a middle of a body of water with an anchor holding VK in place, as opposed to pulling into a dock. Also, this little island is lovingly referred to as the Redneck Riviera. Sweet?!!

We saw a few dolphins but they were too shy to show themselves again when all the cameras came out; went by Lucy Buffett’s LuLu’s bar – a cute “little” place Warren Buffett got for his sister; had a queer Titanic moment; safely passed a big tanker; got lots of sun with occasional reprieves inside the cabin to cool off; non-stop visual and mental stimulation for land dwellers!

Check out this little video from out first day:

Day 1 Montage

Part of this post is needed to vent and rant on the frustration associated with what getting from point A to point B has become when flying. Before we even got to the plane, we had to get rid of a couple of CO2 cartridges from our PFDs (personal floatation device), these special life vests that are very minimal and only inflate by pulling a cord. Wait a minute, this sounds familiar. Don’t the plane’s life vests inflate by pulling a cord and we may be talking about the same damn technology? In other words, the plane is full of CO2 cartridges, but we couldn’t bring ours that came with the vests. That makes a lot of sense (not!). Anyway, when Tana was outside on the curb getting rid of the CO2, an airport security person thought she was a total paranoid basket case, needing to bring her own personal floatation device on the plane: “Wow, do you always fly with a life jacket?”

We also played a super fun 5-part game with the plane seats. (1) Buying tickets that allowed us to choose our own seats, (2) losing the seats during check in because apparently it was a courtesy and not a guarantee, (3) gate agent alluding to seat assignment being done by a computer like a lottery, no matter how nicely I asked, (4) same agent actually assigning us slightly better seats when we decided to let our bags get checked(!), and finally, (5) switching with other passengers directly, so that we could sit together and Tana can stretch her bum knees out. Can’t wait for teleportation or should we just boat everywhere from now on?

Not the best time to pinch a back nerve… Tana is grateful for airport courtesy carts. And we got lucky with seats on our connecting flight, lots of leg room while we waited for a replacement flight officer to arrive and fly us to our new second home!

Our boat’s name is Vera Kate. She may change her name in the future to something that fits better with her new permanent crew of a couple of mature queers. For now we will refer to her as VK – a bit more androgynous, a nice transitional name…

We will officially introduce our trip crew in a future post. Until then, we want to acknowledge how hard they and our engineer worked on preparing VK for the journey. And they left the lights on, so that we can easily find her in the middle of the night, having finally arrived in Pensacola!